The “Gentle Life as a Black Man” development is polarizing viewers on social media

The internet recently started buzzing about a new social media trend gaining momentum among Black men.

The videos focus on highlighting and promoting a “soft” lifestyle and feature black men just going about their daily lives – and there are some examples floating around!

The trend starts on TikTok

Uploads, which followed the trend, showed men engaged in soothing activities, like tending houseplants, sipping tea or just chilling.


what self-care looked like today 🧘🏽‍♂️ the soft life of a black man. #softlife #blackmen #cleantok #cleaningtiktok #healthyliving #booktok #plantdad #xyzbca #fyp #foryourpage #dailyroutine #dayinmylife

♬ Too much – Drake


the soft life of a black man 🧘🏽‍♂️ just keep going 🌿 #fyp #softlife #blackmen #healthyhabits #dailyroutine #xyzbca #dayinmylife #vlogger #dailyvlog

♬ Original sound – RetroBands


Soft Boy Era #softboy #softboyaesthetic #softboyaesthetic #blackboy #softblackboy #softblackman #performer #tinyhome #dc

♬ Original sound – Shapiro

Sports and hobbies like bowling and podcasting were also part of it.


Best when I’m in my element

♬ Crew Love – Drake


the soft life of a black man 🧘🏽‍♂️ spend the day with me. #fyp #fup #softlife #dayinmylife #vlogger #spendthedaywithme #dailyvlog #blackmen #xyzbca #greenscreen #healthyroutine

♬ Coi Leray Player DJ Saige Mashup – Saige

A few posts by a @nicenonns user focus on showing what “Dinner with a soft Black man” looks like.


Choose the path with less stress and least resistance. #mentalhealth #foryou #asmr #cookingtok

♬ In sentimental mood – Duke Ellington & John Coltrane


I wish everyone a great week #Foryou

♬ I will wait and pray – John Coltrane


“Soft” “Soft life” – Originated in the Nigerian community as slang for a life of comfort and low stress. #tjmaxx #foryou #mentalhealth

♬ My love, help me – main theme – Piero Piccioni

All in all, most of the trend’s videos were pretty straight forward and focused on drawing attention to the “soft” life.


the gentle life of a black man ☕️ what would a morning routine be without coffee and a good book. #fyp #xyzbca #dayinmylife #softlife #blackmen #vlogger #booklover #morningroutine #healthyhabits #foryourpage #2023 #dailyvlog

♬ SPEED IN THE AIR – cloudz/Solar🧚🏾‍♀️☁️🏎


Reposting because TikTok flagged this video even though I’m literally not doing anything dangerous lol? Anyway i choose soft life lol #softlife #gay #viral

♬ Original Soundtrack – ChannDaily 🏳️‍🌈


the soft life of a black man 🧘🏽‍♂️ Guys, the soft life isn’t just for women. it’s for you too! Take care of yourself. You don’t have to be tough or careful or get wrapped up in the “grind culture”. slow down and take care of yourself.🌿 #fyp #apartmenttherapy #cleaningtiktok #softlife #dayinthelife #cleaninghacks #vlogger #dailyroutine #plantdad

♬ Lil Uzi Vert MUSSELS JUNE MIX – JUNE! (formerly Shawn May)

Viewers have mixed reactions

As the trend continued to gain momentum, people started chiming in on other platforms like Twitter.

Many critics found the videos rather mundane as they focused on “showing an adult doing things adults do”.

All I see is an adult doing things adults do.

— Dantley Davis (@dantley) January 1, 2023

💯 right.. niggas gotta clean the crib and call it soft life lol

— Urban Wolf (@blackviking80) January 1, 2023

It has even been claimed that there was “something sinister”. [TikTok] transforming any fundamental action into a life aesthetic or personality trait.”

I’m not trying to be dramatic here, but there is something uncanny about Tik Tok that turns every basic storyline into a life aesthetic or personality trait lmao

— Masc Potatoes (@CertifiedFool_) January 1, 2023

Others, however, found the trend “cute” and simply looked like “peace, happiness, and success.”

Looks like peace, happiness and success.
Sign me up.

— Josh 😈 (@Revuhnant) January 1, 2023

I think it’s cute lmao

— ᴅɪᴀʀʏ ᴏғ 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓙𝓸𝓻 (@xoshanjor) December 31, 2022

Overall, supporters found the backlash odd, as the “soft life” trend was all about promoting chills.

I’m confused . This seems like a relaxed day. Why the setback? 🙁

— Mike Berbick (@BankonBerb) January 1, 2023

At the other end of the spectrum, it has been claimed that the general trend is, at its core, “inherently racist,” as it applauds black men for “doing what is necessary” in growing up.


Crap so lame bro. #fyp #softblackman #effeminizationoftheblackmale

♬ Original sound – damn

Users also called for bringing back “a specific type of bullying.” Similarly, others implored people to exit the trend in 2022 because “we used to build and we hunted.”

No really. Because what the hell is going on here?

— Bake The Flake (@ShakeNBake_3) January 1, 2023

Being an adult with responsibility and being a dog is a soft life 🤨

Bring back bullying 😂

— The Texan (@shotbydez) January 1, 2023


SOFT LIFE BLACK MAN 😂😂😂 WE LEAD THE Strongest Bloodline #fyp #softlife #trending #2023 #blacktiktok


Are you here for the Soft Life as a Black Man trend and what do you think of the criticism?

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