But as it turned out, the icon, who came out of nowhere and became everything, wasn’t as prepared as it thought it should fight. Instead, the possibility of failure weighed heavily on her, and predictable as it was, she could sense a certain complacency between the lines of certain watchers who thought she had aimed too high this time.
In 2012, when OWN’s future was not guaranteed when she was filming The Butler, her first live-action film role since Beloved in 1998, the stress proved too great and in retrospect, Winfrey found she was having a breakdown.
“In the beginning it was just kind of speeding and numbness and a transition from one thing to the next,” she recalled in 2013 of Access Hollywood (the year OWN started making profits). “I’ll tell you when I realized I was like, ‘Okay, if I don’t calm down, I’m going to have serious problems.’ I was just about to do voice over, you know? And I remember closing my eyes between the pages because looking at the page and the words at the same time was too much stimulation to my brain. “
“I mean, I wasn’t ready to run naked in the street,” she added. “Let’s make that very clear. But I had reached a point where I just couldn’t pick up any more stimulation. OK? That’s what I meant by that.”
She admitted to Watch What Happens Live in 2013, speaking of OWN’s initial low ratings: “Nobody was more surprised than me.” But she continued, “You have to crouch. There is no failure: God is telling you to move in a different direction … Over the years I’ve told people to stay there, hold on to their dreams . Be steadfast in their vision … and I said, ‘Oh, now I can walk this path and not just talk about it.’ “
Winfrey also said to the People of the Experience, “Failure is a great teacher. I knew that intellectually. But it’s a different thing if you live it.” Graham, who had penned the Oprah Winfrey Network name back in 1992, gave her the right support, telling her, “You can’t even think of quitting … You were on the cruise control. It is.” I’ll turn around but you have to do the work. ‘”
Comments are closed.